I was his sunshine..

March, 2006 - Exam days

"Alright, you listen to me now. You listening? Okay, did you know that workers who supported Lenin were known as 'Bolsheviks'?" I ask. No response.

"Cool, let's not talk about Russia now. Anyway, I tried to cheat during the Science test yesterday. I copied off a formula from the girl next to me. Is that a bad thing to do?" I ask again. Still, poker face.

"Okay okay fine, what's done is done and there is no use talking about it now. But, I have something much more interesting to tell you. Guess what? A new family has moved into our neighborhood and I saw a very cute guy among them. Now, what do you think?" I try once more, hoping to get a wink at least. All I get is a head-turn.

"Great! Thanks for not listening to anything I had to say. Clearly, you are not interested. So, I'll stop now. All you care about is food, food, food," I say crossly and take out one of the three pieces of rusk from my pencil purse. Ah there, finally the tail wags and the tongue sticks out. But, annoyed by the earlier rebuffs, I stand up, stretch my hand upward to the highest possible and hold the rusk there until an angry bark comes after a couple of failed attempts at a jump. "Well, I needed to give a tit for your tat, buddy. Now, we are even," I say and toss the rusk. Togo leaps and deftly catches the rusk with his mouth, crunching it down in an instant. Then, we duly go back to our discussion about the Russian revolution for a brief moment before the second piece of rusk needs to be taken out.

Now

Togo, my German Shepherd, is one of the craziest guys I have ever met. He just doesn't care about anything in this world except the tonnes of food we give to fatten him up. Hmm, maybe he also cares a tiny bit about me at times when his tummy is full. We took him in when he was a mere 45-day old pup, all cuddly and cute. I was just starting my 9th grade then. When my mom asked me what we should call him, I spent an entire week looking up all kinds of names on the internet. Simba, Vicky, Blacky, Jimmy, Timmy, blah, blah, blah. I finally named him Togo because I was a fervent fan of Pogo during my school-days and hence the name. Only later did I find out that there is an African country called Togo.

Once Togo came into my life, I spent most of the evenings after school with him, playing catch and rolling with him on the lawn. Some days, mom gave me bread or biscuits to feed him and I would make him leap up in the air to get them. At times, I would have something very important to share but knowing that the right person would never understand what I had to say, I would run straight to Togo. Making him sit down beside me on the lawn, I would lie on his furry back and talk of inconsequential stuff. I never measured my words before saying him anything because, the guy loved me no matter what, occasionally demanding a bite of food and an affectionate scratch in return. 

On top of every moment that we shared together, the days I had my annual exams were when I needed Togo the most. Sitting at our usual spot with my books, I would hold his paws, look into his eyes and spell out math formulae, years when every historical war took place, what molecules make up acetone and so on. For a person who never liked study groups much, I was strangely comfortable with Togo as my study partner. #Together, we were one strange pair of crackpots.

Soon, days passed and I moved to a different place to pursue my under-graduate degree. My days with Togo came down and I met him only during the rare weekends I went home. Even then, I never gave him much of my time since I had to meet up with everyone else. Slowly, as I made new friends, I buried the past and built a whole new life for myself that had no space for Togo. Now, Togo is long gone. He left us a couple of years back. Only when Togo left me for good, I realized. We forever spend our lives searching for someone who will become our sunshine. But, in the mid of that search, we forget those, for whom we are the sunshine. Seeing us happy would make them happy. Our smiles would give them all the optimism they need to carry on with their life. In short, they will never be able to see past you and those are the kind we need to celebrate in our life. Togo deserved much more from me but I fell short of it. He was my go-to guy whenever I needed to let out and recompose myself. He gave me so much, yet I gave back so very little. Thank you Togo, for being there for me whenever I needed you.

Image Courtesy: Favim

My 2 Cents: Who doesn't love Captain Cool's finishing-off-in-style boundary? Who doesn't love ARR's heart-melting melody number? Who doesn't love the aroma that wafts from the kitchen when our parent's cooking? Who doesn't love that fleeting moment of butterflies in tummy when your crush smiles at you? Who doesn't love watching R-A-J-I-N-I zoom in before the Superstar's movie begins? Who doesn't love waking up to coffee and breakfast in bed? In fact, moments like these define the happiness of our life and inspire us to keep moving on to see what's next. Togo was one guy in my life who gave me such moments that I would forever treasure. We all have such kind of people in our life even though we may never realize until later. But, if you know, then better hold on to them tight and never let them go, including your pets. Just so you know, pets are also precious because you are the sunshine of their brief lives on this planet.

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This post has been inspired by and written for a recent campaign - '#Together', by Housing.com. 
To know more about who they are and what they do, take a look at their new video ad shared below.

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A moment of liberation

Change is inevitable. As such, our lives are prone to a series of changes that show up in different forms. Some changes are obvious, such as our physical transformation or our progressive change from schooling to college to workplace. Being aware of such changes and attuning yourself to them is easy and does not require much of effort. On the other side, there also come changes in life that lead to nuances in our core consciousness and perception towards life. In my case, moving between different places now and then has exactly been that kind of change.

To start with, I was born with a spoon that was silver enough to never let me know the pain of not getting what you want, in a small town that mostly kept to itself and waved away any kind of evolutionary change of the modern times. Owing to that, I spent my childhood and schooling growing up in a conservative neighborhood with responsible parents and friends who were peas in a pod. To put it another way, everything was just damn perfect. Enveloped in a blanket of security, life would indeed be a blessing to continue living in my town.

But, soon enough, I was ready to attain the official age required to become an adult. By then, I had grown used to three main aspects that ruled my life: the never-ending support of my parents, a constant group of friends and material comforts. So, my parents decided it was time for me to apprehend what it takes to live life outside of my comfort zone. "You need a little bit of exposure to mature," they said. The apt solution was to pursue my under-graduation from staying in the hostel of an institution. Excited about the prospects of new experiences in a new place, I agreed immediately. "Oh Anusha, your life is just about to get amazingly eventful", I thought.

And move I did, as discussed, to Madurai for my next level of education. However, I could not transition myself into the new environment as smoothly as I had expected. The feeling of loneliness was so much in the hostel that I would dread returning to the quarters once the day in college got over. When my parents visited during the initial weekends, I would cry profusely and moan, "I hate being in this hostel. I am not able to be myself around here. There is no independence at all since I have to rely on my hostel mates for even a small chore or help. Moreover, I do not know anyone here. I miss all of you. Let me come back home and continue studying in our town itself." Yet, my parents were stone-hearted just the right amount to turn a blind eye to my tears and ignore my whining. They flatly told me that I had no other choice but to live in this hostel for the next three years. Feeling crushed and let down, I spent a good two months crying myself to sleep every night in the hostel. If truth be told, I ached deeply for material comfort. Life without television, internet and air conditioner felt empty. I longed to go back to that old life. Though I had not let my parents be privy to this fact, knowing me very too well, they had decided not to surrender to my whims of getting back to town. Change had finally come, but I seemed to have difficulties accepting it. Until one specific midnight came - my first birthday in hostel. That night, I cut five different cakes with five different gang of friends. When that day dawned, realization also dawned; this change in life was slowly but definitely making me happy. Excruciating though it had been at first, I then felt exhilarated with the lovely connections I had established unknowingly. One small realization led to another and soon, life turned beautiful. Empty was not the life I had now, but the one I yearned to return back to. Wrong it was not to depend on your fellow beings, but on the material comforts. Getting liberated from them was the initial change that was much-needed in my life and I am forever thankful to my parents for the same.

I did not stop with Madurai. Next, it was Coimbatore for my post-graduation, where I underwent a hard time coming to terms with the fact that women had to put in a lot more effort than men for their opinions to be heard and considered. I say this because, till then, I had studied only in all-girls institutions, where I would always emerge as one of the top students without so much of an effort. So, it did come as a rude shock but I managed to survive and thrive through the change. After that, it was life as a marketing analyst in Chennai, which also happens to be my current role. Donning this role has again exposed me to truths about myself, my integrity, my passion for writing, and how priorities is the answer to a fuller living.

Yes, it is tough, having to go through each change as it strikes and accept it wholeheartedly but at the end of the day, it helps me learn a bit more about myself and what I am capable of. After all, life is nothing but a sequence of changes, duly engendering a series of realizations. How we take up and face each change is what defines us. We can either choose to progress with the change, improving with each day, or live a life of stagnation. The choices that we make will define us and the days to come.

So, get out there, choose wisely, adapt quickly, push your limits, realize your worth, live your life!

Image Courtesy: Strong Inside/Out

P.S: Till now, I was living with family in Chennai. Soon, I am moving out to my own place. Wonder what living alone is going to teach me :)

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This post has been inspired by and written for a recent campaign - '#StartANewLife', by Housing.com. 
To know more about who they are and what they do, take a look at their new video ad shared below.

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Moments of Impact #02: Faith, Restored!

(This post has been inspired by and written for the IndiBlogger's Happy Hours, in relation to a recent campaign, 'Look Up Stories'. To know more about Look Up Housing, click here.)


A day like every other, 6.45 pm:

Having had a hectic day at office, I had just boarded our company's shuttle that drops us off at the nearest railway station, from where I take an MRTS train to my area and then, walk home. Overcome by fatigue, I found myself thinking about laundry-fresh pyjamas, hot buttered rotis, and at last, my warm soft bed where I would zone out for the day. Alas! All the good things were still an hour of commute away from my reach and this fact made me feel pretty sorry for myself. 'Poor poor you! Here you are, undergoing so much, just so you could carry on with your dull life', I self-empathized.

Promptly twenty minutes later, I was in the station, waiting for the train along with other commuters. All of us looked equally tired and an air of dejection hung around us. 'Maybe that's what every single one of us here wants to do at the end of each day - just hit the damn sack and slack off. I am not alone in this world', I declared to myself. Suddenly, the familiar whistle of the train pierced into my mind and put an end to the train of thoughts that was running inside. Scuttling, I boarded the train and got myself a comfortable first-class window seat. Taking off, the train sped up gradually and gained on kilometers in seconds.

A minute or two passed by. Slowly, the steady movement of the train relaxed me down and my exhaustion disappeared a little. To while away time, I began observing the people seated nearby. Beside me sat just one guy with a headset, no doubt a software professional, struggling to complete a level in 2048. The seat opposite me was occupied by a woman in her early thirties, who was chattering away on her phone about the fresh veggies she had bought for today's dinner(must have been her mom at the other end, I'm sure). The other two seats were taken by a sweet couple who sat silently, holding hands in a subtle way. Since the guy beside me blocked my view of the seats in the adjacent section, I moved my gaze to the far end of the coach opposite me, where a couple of college-going boys had the foot-board occupied, both their bags dangling from one of their shoulders. A man, who had to be in his fifties, was standing safely behind them. Occasionally, his eyes would linger on the couple before me, though all he could see was just the back of their heads. Then, he would avert his eyes with a scowl. 'Now, that must be one poor dad who's worried whether his daughter is somewhere else, holding hands with someone just like this couple', I joked to myself. I carried on like this for some more minutes to come, observing and making harmless judgments about the tired souls around me.

By the time I was beginning to get bored with the exercise, the next station arrived and a few more commuters boarded the coach. 'Ah well, here they come to be perceived upon by me', I thought and waited for the train to move. Just as the train started, I suddenly heard a shuffle behind me. I turned just in time to see a thin sorry-looking girl leap into the moving train without losing her footing. As I begun to turn back again, I noticed that the girl was holding out her hand confidently to help someone else board the train too. I craned my neck further to catch a glimpse at the person running outside and it was her mother trying to catch up with a huge jute bag on her shoulder. A little worried since the train was gaining speed with every second, I fixated on the scene, waiting for her to get into the train safely. Even the daughter had tensed up by now and was shouting at her, 'Amma amma, seekarama vanga' (Mom mom, come quickly). The mother, face taut with fret too, suddenly lunged forward with more effort, caught hold of her daughter's hand, and tried to spring into the coach. Before my eyes, I saw the lady lose her footing from the effort and fall back on the platform with a thud that sounded heavily dangerous. At about the same time, I heard the daughter give out a shrill scream and begin to jump out to help her mom. 

Before I could grasp the full effect of what was happening right there, the rest of the coach became alive instantly. The guy beside me was up and near the girl in a second. He caught her before she could jump off and kept restraining her until she struggled and finally, fainted from the shock. He dragged her far inside the train, away from the foot-board. The couple too ran forward to help as the elderly man and the college boys came running towards us. By now, I too had come to my senses. I quickly called out to the software guy to carry the girl to our seat. With the couple's help, the guy carried the girl and propped her up carefully on the seat next to me. Without a moment's thought, one of the college boys took out a notebook from his bag and began fanning to give the girl some air. 

'Does anyone have a bottle of water?', asked the lady opposite me. Realizing I had one inside my tote-bag, I hurriedly took it out and gave it to her. Opening the cap, she poured some water on her palm and sprinkled it deftly on the girl's face. The girl's face twitched painfully as she slowly regained consciousness. The very first words that escaped her lips as she opened her tear-filled eyes were, 'Amma? Amma enga? Enna aachu avungaluku?' (Mom? Where is mom? What happened to her?)

'She will be alright, my child. I saw her get up and stand as our train left the station,' said the elderly man kindly.

'I want to see her immediately. Right now. Let me go, please', begged the girl and tried to get up. I placed my hands on her shoulders and forced her down gently to the seat. 

'Okay, does your mother have a mobile? Let us call her and ensure that she is very much alright. Then, you can get down at the next station and wait for your mother until she too takes the next train and reaches', suggested the other college boy. While the girl nodded vigorously and blurted out the number, the elderly man fished out his mobile from the back-pocket and dialed the same. All of us waited for the mother to answer, with bated breath and unblinking eyes.

Only after her mother had picked up the call three rings later and assured that she was completely safe, did all of us relax. The girl too calmed down greatly and even managed to offer a tiny smile, while thanking us profusely for the help. Soon, the train stopped at the next station. The girl again thanked us one final time and got down to wait for her mother. Immediately, the atmosphere inside the coach boomeranged back to the usual silence. We flashed awkward smiles at each other in acknowledgement and returned to occupy our earlier spots.

Come next station, I would also be getting down. I just had a few minutes left to alight. As the train whooshed by without a worry, I sat there looking at every one who had come forward to help. That moment, a new kind of happiness washed over me. With that happiness came a new hope in humanity and an optimistic outlook towards my own life. Whatsoever dull days I crossed, I had to keep on living because I never knew when my being someplace would prove helpful to another soul. Today was one such day :) Feeling light and content, I got up as the train began slowing down at the tracks.

Image Courtesy: Point Community