10 Shitty Logics of the Great Indian Litterbug!

Courtesy: The Great Indian

In India, people have some of the strangest notions about when you are being an idiot and when you are not, especially when it comes to the 'Art of Littering'. 

#1 
You are an undisciplined p*ick if you spill food from your plate onto your dining table, but no, not if you toss emptied coffee cups, munched apples, breakfast leftovers and God knows what else from window seats in a train/bus.

#2 
You are out of your mind if you dump your day's garbage at a spot near your home because, Cmon, who likes living in a smelly neighborhood and getting bitten by mosquitoes. So, walk swiftly to the next lane, find a comfortable spot and trash to your heart's content.

#3 

In case you catch a terrible cold and find your throat stuffed with phlegm, go ahead and make yourself comfortable by spitting it out on the road because at the end of the day, a sorrow shared is a disease multiplied.

#4 
You should never ever let a stray dog enter your house as it may soil your spick-and-span place. But, you my child have the freedom to stray around every cultural monument and tarnish it in every single way you can think of.

#5 
Recruitment Logic: You can acquire the most talented minds only by pasting vague posters on public transport vehicles, with nothing but a promise to make life fantastic and a fancy mobile number to contact.

#6 
While driving one's own car: "You freak, these leather seats are brand new and you just puked all over it. Wait, I'll stop at a corner. Take it out on the road"

#7
At Home: "Dude, where are your manners? You just forgot to flush the toilet!"
Out: "You wanna take a leak? That wall looks private enough, go there!"

#8 
"Are you mad? I just swept the room and you have strewn your hair everywhere again"
At public restrooms: *Leaves hair strands flying around like feathers after the cleaner had mopped the floor with all her energy*

#9 
"Oh please, take care not to let your child use the crayon on my wall. I got it whitewashed very recently." Thus said the guy who scribbled on the temple wall to express his divine love for the girl next door.

#10 
My personal favorite: You are a pathetic fool if you actually search for trashcans in public spots. After all, the whole world lays below your feet, waiting to get littered. Who needs trashcans??

#Honorary Mention: You are not a true Indian until you have made at least one animal or a bird or a fish ingest a polythene item which you decided was useless and threw off. 

Of course, this ain't an exhaustive list and most of us know that. The more we look around and observe, the more irony that seems to be lurking within our conceptions of Cleanliness. 

To conclude, let's build a picture in order to get the basic underlying logic of this issue across and here's what I suggest: Imagine an empty room; place yourself in there; and now, start filling the rest of the room with trash. I bet that you will find the You in your mind littering the spot in the room that is the farthest away from you. In truth, that is exactly the natural logic that we also apply in our real lives, i.e, we and our immediate vicinity stay clear of litter. 

To sum it all up in a single sentence, let the rest of the world go to the dogs as long as it does not seem to affect us. Happy Littering!

This post was inspired by and written for the IndiBlogger's Happy Hours, in relation to The Times of India's recent campaign, 'The Great Indian Litterbug'. To know more about the campaign, click here. You could also take a look at the video below!